Artist Boobs, yes, but nothing original on my part

So, I haven't posted anything in a pretty long time. However, when I was looking for whatnot to do over spring break, I discovered a few blogs I deem to be "of note" and would like to share them with you all.

==>Blog Numero Un: Constantly Risking Absurdity by Mariah Irvin

Quote from More Reasons to Say "Yay!" and Another Tease:

“Look,” I gestured at myself, “I have artist boobs. There’s no way I could wear that.”

“What?” Izzy’s eyebrows rose curiously.

“It’s like,” I broke off, embarrassed I had actually said what I was thinking. “My boobs are the size an artist would use, for like a painting or sculpture. They’re big enough to know the person that has them is female, but small enough not to be vulgar.”

Mariah Irvin "loves writing, reading, and sharing random thoughts with complete strangers in hopes that they won't label her absurd." I definitely do not label her absurd, and I love how every entry on her blog is just a scrape on the surface of the randomness past, the randomness at hand, and the randomness to come. My personal favorites the ones involving Barbie and Godzilla, or her psychotic laptop. All in all, an excellent way to chill out after a long day of whatever it is you do.

==>Blog Numero Deux: Blog Title. by :]

Although the postings are rather sporadic, the ones that do exist on this anonymous blog are very entertaining. This may, however, be due to their voice's remarkable resemblance to my dear friend and bestest pally, Wendy. Not much else to say...except that the blog is quite funny, and you really should go read it.

==>Blog Numero Trois: breadxbread by aw and JoJoJoJo

Just two dudes blogging about sandwiches. Any sandwiches, but mostly good ones, with pictures of every single one. It was something utterly random at the time I found it, but now I check for new posts on a regular basis. Yes, I don't live in the same area, so I can't go find any of the particularly mouth-watering specimen I'm reading about, but the posts are so descriptive, I could probably make them myself.

Well, there you have it. Three blogs, each enticingly random in their own hit-or-miss way. So, go check 'em out. Get to it. I won't mind if you leave. Really. Just come back evenutally, alright?

Alright??

More random questions answered: "Germaphobes! Ha!" and "Damn Ankles"

To Whomever May Actually Be Reading This:

I promise I'll have more posts that are not random-question related, but in the meantime, these both have pretty short answers, so I'll give you two of them.

Random Question #2: You laughed so hard you can't catch your breath. Stick out your tongue and show us what's funny:

There are over 300 different kinds of bacteria on my tongue, and everyone else’s tongue for that matter, but silly germ phobics won’t eat anything they think is dirty, even though they’ve already got a bacteria-covered tongue. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Random Question #3: How is an ankle unlike a consequence?

Whereas a consequence comes as an effect of an action, an ankle can be the cause of an action, usually resulting in self-injury on the part of the ankle in question.

Random answer #1: "The bald frog and his Lilly"

This all started when I was editing my profile when I first joined Blogger (about 7 months before Creative Writing). I've since killed that blog, since it only had three posts when I forgot about it. I noticed the random question at the very bottom and, next to an answer box, instructions to check the small box below the answer bit and then save the profile to generate a new question. Curious, I checked the box and saved my profile, even though I hadn't changed anything. I scrolled anxiously back to the bottom of the screen, where, lo and behold, a new question had appeared. With childlike ecstasy, I repeated the process: check the box, save the profile, scroll down. Another new question materialized. When I did it all again, the first question reappeared. Slightly disappointed, but eager to discover how many questions there actually were, I decided to copy and paste each question into a Word document, just for the sake of collecting them. So far, I've got 84 of these different takes on random, and they just keep on coming.

Now, I have officially decided to answer each and every one of them. As I work my way down the list, I'll post my answers in this blog, instead of on my profile, for three reasons: 1)because it would take a really long time to bring the question I've answered back around on the profile bit; B) because apparently there's a word limit on the little answer box that no one told me about; and III) because I said so.

So there you have it. Official titles of each answer (if there are titles) are in the post title. Original questions will be in the post, right before their answer.

Random Question #1: The children are waiting! Please tell them the story about the bald frog with the wig:

So there's this frog, Freddy, and he's trying to find a lady frog. He's about to start over to a lady frog that he's had his eye on, Lilly, when he looks down at his reflection in the pond and realizes that he's bald! Freddy had heard stories about how undesirable baldness was, so he makes himself a wig using a grassy plant near the shore of the pond. He gets the wig on, takes a look at himself, and decides right there and then that he is the finest little frog he's ever seen or heard about in his entire froggy life. Finally ready to introduce himself, Freddy hops across the pond, from lily pad to lily pad, over to Lilly. Just as he's hopping onto the lily pad right next to hers, Brad, who’s had it out for Freddy ever since they were tadpoles, jumps onto the lily pad himself! Finding himself mid-jump with no alternative landing spot, Freddy falls into the pond, and his wig away. Too sad for words, he gets himself back to his own lily pad, and sits in solitude for the rest of his poor froggy life.

Inciting the Wrath of a Poet

I realize that this goes against my philosophy of "Let your poetry speak for itself: no intros," but I've already started. So there. I included this poem in my rough draft packet of personal poetry, but forgot to type it up in time for the final project. Therefore, I decided to post it here. The title of this post is the title of the poem as well. Enjoy.

anger pulsing,
taking over,
Controlling,
even those most stable
can be
pushed
over
the
edge
of their
sanity, reality
redefined
as Unreasonable,
but not anymore.

Egotistical,
Selfish,
and
Lazy:
three Sins
rolled into
one.
never cross those
who can
Manipulate,
aren't afraid to
do what they have to,
to get
what they want,
what they need.

respect
denies
attributes of the
self,
morals and values
(dis)IN(te)GRATE
under
the Watchful eye
of
Idle hands.
the beholder is
no longer
what matters
once
a Soul
is set
on
Fire.

What I Did in English Class Today

*NOTE: Each title indicates a new line of thought, meaning that a new stanza is not a new poem. The French one (actually written in French class, which is right after English) is followed by an approximate translation.*

This is embarrassing
I know you know it:
Poetry embarrasses.
Showing your bare soul,
your views on life, and your dreams,
takes more guts than you'd believe.

Three Important Questions
If I string haikus
on a thread of emotion,
and add some tankas
to embellish on my thoughts,
can I still call it haiku?

If there are no breaks
between each of the stanzas,
or if I allow
sentences to cross over,
let the punctuation extend
beyond barriers
set down by Japan's poets,
so long as I keep
the syllables in their lines,
will my work be recognized?

If I give you but
another question, not the
answers that you seek,
will my poems you admire
for the beauty they create?

The (Un)Answer
There are no answers,
so don't waste your time on truths.
Let your questions flow.

Biodegradable
Please conserve paper.
Print your poems in columns.
Put them in your blog.
Maybe you could just read them.
It's better for them and Earth.

Juice
I'm having a draught
in my mind's creative depths.
I know that poets
write, but also read daily.
Think they just run out of juice?

En Français
Qu'est-ce que c'est le mot
pour dire "tanka" en français?
Peut-être c'est la même,
mais il faut être "difficile."
Je ne les vois pas partout.

Translation:
In French
What is the word
to say "tanka" in French?
Maybe it's the same,
but it should be "difficult."
I don't see them everywhere.

Can a Poet Lie? Judge for Yourself...

"Poetry is lame."
"Poetry is for losers."
"You're still in that class?"
This blog has low readership,
since many friends don't get it.

Revel in romance.
Love is good for fairy tales,
but to last the night
just give me a romancer,
a guy who speaks my language.

Haikus aren't poems?
I'd like to see you write some
that show your spirit.

Tankas are cheating
because haikus can't contain
what I need to say?
Sometimes, fourteen syllables
really makes all the difference.

If the Jetsons had one, why shouldn't you?

Why not? You're already in the market for a new car, right? Something better for the environment than that rainforest deathtrap of an SUV you're no longer very proud to own? What could be better than a car that gets 500 miles per gallon of regular unleaded gas, not to mention one that flies? The Jetsons had a flying car, you know.

What's that? Yes, theirs was a bit more compact than this. But can you imagine what kind of cargo space they must've had? Besides, this car morphs between car and plane, depending on whether you're driving or flying. This car flies and drives! None of this hovering nonsense. If you're stuck in traffic, morph into the car, and everything is normal. Roadtrip? Let those wings extend and you'll be there in no time. If getting there is half the fun for you, you can drive, knowing that flying is always an option if you change your mind halfway or become extremely impatient.

Oh, the price? Well, as they are still in the developing stage, the price will vary from our current figures, but...no, you can't really be walking away now! There's at least a year until you can physically receive your car, so payment plans can be worked to meet nearly all needs! No, you haven't heard the best part yet!! It comes with free lessons, a full how-to on operating your vehicular miracle. Yes, free! Not included in the price of purchase at all, absolutely free. Not all dealer offer this, you know. Some charge extra for the classes, by the hour. Plus, if you buy your flying car here, every member of you family with a valid driver's license or permit can take part in the lessons, for no extra fee!

Honestly, what have you got to lose? Place the first down payment on your very own flying car today!